Healing Powers

by Julia Sotas Mattis

For an audio version of this blog click here. 

I would consider this blog to be an advanced Access Consciousness Blog. If you would like to learn more about Access Consciousness, please check out the Access Consciousness YouTube Channel and Access Consciousness Bars website at accessconsciousness.com/bars.

I have a friend who has been looking unwell for the last while. It’s been on my mind, I've been curious about what is going on in her world that is taking such a toll on her body. It looks a bit like she is falling apart.

I took the question to my dear mentor, friend, and founder of Access Consciousness, Gary Douglas. His answer created a lot of space in my world, he shared that this amazing lady was doing absolutely everything she could to heal her mother, father, and brother. She was trying hard to make their lives better, though each of them is functioning from deep insanity, and all that ‘unsuccessful saving’ was destroying her body. She was doing this energetically, under the surface without letting herself know that she was pouring all this energy into these people.  

If you have had a moment of awareness, it can seem a bit like a light bulb switching on. I have had some weird body stuff going on, that really didn’t feel like me, and I asked: Is this what’s going on with my body? The answer: Yes. Absolutely. And not just your parental family, it's also my husband Anthony and the kids. In fact, Gary told me I was crazy, CRAZY, when it comes to family.  

It’s so easy to see these things clearly in people around you, but sometimes that clarity can get muddled when it comes to your own life. It's such a gift to have someone as a resource, someone who can see you and the life you are creating with level-headed awareness and who cares enough to deliver that information to you in a way that you can receive (if you choose to).

Fast forward a few weeks, I was out for lunch with one of my friends, a recently married friend from California, and she began to open up about her own relationship struggles. She had a husband with two teenage children and there are some severe problems coming up in their marriage. It was so easy for me to see how she is dimming her light to heal him and to make everything work for his kids. It hurt my heart to see this fairy creature, this beautiful person, give up her light and happiness in order to heal this family. It was clearly not her responsibility and was not even effective.  

And then the light came on, a bolt of awareness and I just about fainted. I realized that this is exactly the type of healing that I am doing with regards to family. I looked at my friend and saw myself. Trying to heal my mom and dad and my husband and kids was hard work that was not actually helping my family, and was definitely destroying me.

It gave Gary a good laugh. Julia, he said, isn't it amazing that you already knew that, you were able to articulate to your friend exactly what wasn't working, with clarity? You already knew it. You just chose to ignore it. 

Wow. 

Often when I have a conversation with Gary, I will really slow down what he's saying and repeat it back to him to make sure that it's clear and that I'm letting the awareness in. It can often take months or years to actually let a conversation in. When I choose to slow the conversation down and to repeat back what he has said to me, I can in certain situations, go to a deeper level in the moment. 

So that is exactly what I did, I repeated back to Gary what I had just heard him say. I said aloud, “I ignored it. I knew it, but I ignored my awareness. I ignored my awareness.”  I relaxed and let my barriers down, did not pretend I knew it all, and rather reached for what I did not yet know. I asked a question. 

How does this apply to money? From my question, Gary gave me a question, which of course I’m going to share with you: 

What am I ignoring about the money that could actually make me tremendously successful?

When he said it to me, I had no idea what he meant by it. I took this question away from our conversation and began to ask it–with real curiosity and diligence. What showed up was a level of power and freedom with money that words cannot describe. What can you do with this question? What can you change?